Dr Richard Schwartz, developed a model he calls internal family systems (IFS). IFS is frequently used as an evidence-based psychotherapy, helping people heal by accessing and healing their protective and wounded inner parts..
Children are dependent for their survival on their caregivers, especially in their first 7 years. Children therefore often internalize negative experiences towards them and around them as a survival mechanism which can lead to very unhealthy coping mechanism later in life if not investigated and integrated in a healthy harmonious way.
The phenomenon where young children internalize negative experiences and develop a belief that they are inherently bad or broken or unworthy, is addressed in psychology through several related concepts:
Internalized Self-Blame: Children often attribute negative events to their own character (rather than external factors), leading to feelings of being “bad.”
Toxic Shame: This refers to a deep-seated belief of being fundamentally flawed or unworthy, often stemming from childhood trauma or abuse.
Identification with the Aggressor: A defense mechanism where abused children adopt the perspective of their abuser, believing they deserve mistreatment because they are “bad.”
Negative Internal Working Models: In attachment theory, children with abusive or neglectful caregivers may develop a negative self-model, viewing themselves as unworthy of care.
Cognitive Distortions: Specific distortions like personalization (believing external events are their fault) or global self-labeling (“I am bad”) contribute to this mindset.
Developmental Trauma: Chronic childhood adversity can lead to a pervasive sense of shame or defectiveness, as seen in complex PTSD
Internal family Systems (IFS) is an interesting model of looking at ourselves and shows that in our core we and others are curious, compassionate beings that want to survive and thrive in harmony with each other. IFS creates inner and outer connectedness by helping people first access their Self and, from that core, come to understand and heal their exiled and protective parts.
Here a great introduction into what IFS is:
No Bad Parts is a great introduction to Internal Family Systems.
Sometimes parts get formed in ways due to the pressures of childhood trauma or other challenging circumstances. A part is forced to take on a certain role that provides a solution to that difficult situation, however later in life this solution might become a problem.
For example a protective part that was formed and needed in childhood due to an abusive parent, can become problematic in open heartedly relating to yourself and others later on in life.
Or maybe a part learned to suppress certain emotions when growing up due to peer pressure and later on in life that prevents you from having access to those emotions and being able to be vulnerable when desired.
By connecting to those older formed protective and exiled parts and unburdening them we can transform and reintegrate those parts. Then they can take a new role to play so we can live in more harmony with our current surroundings and needs.
In these videos you can see how this process might work in practice.
It can be a great tool to experience more inner peace.
More information:
-) Website Internal Family System (IFS) Institute
-) YouTube Introduction into IFS
Related articles:
-) The Transformation of Trauma with Bessel van der Kolk and Gabor Maté
-) Tension and Trauma Release Technique (TRE) – Body Shaking to Release Stress
-) Navigating the Emotional Body, Fully Allow all Emotions and Release Them.
-) Breathwork – Breath yourself to Inner Peace
-) Inner Child work with The Completion Process
-) Connect to your Feelings and Needs and learn how to Set Healthy Boundaries
-) Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, Interpersonal Effectiveness & Mindfulness – Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)
-) Emotional Freedom Technique – Energy Tapping
-) The 5 step cycle of creation – How our thoughts shape our (experience of) reality
-) Investigating, turning around and transforming (bad feeling) thoughts
